Nazar Proofing

If you have delivered your baby in India, chances are that you have been through the 40 days of confinement period. The tradition arose from the need to protect both mum and baby from infection and help the mother recover from the exhaustion of child birth. One of the many restrictions is that the mum and baby can’t go out of the house. Though I was not having post-partum depression, there were blues nonetheless. I was tired and frustrated sitting at home with my days (and nights) doing nothing but managing or thinking about Angel’s feed, burp, massage, bath, pee and poop. Thankfully, my MIL noticed and understood this. She is one of the rare kind in the previous generation who doesn’t believe that traditions come before individuals and thus we went for a short drive along with Angel even though the 40 days were not over yet. I came back refreshed and definitely feeling better however Angel cried a lot and we were not able to comfort her. After trying everything, MIL suggested to utaaro her nazar (warding off the evil eye) and she did that. And guess what, Angel still continued to cry! She was a colic baby and not knowing any other way to express herself at that age she used to cry. We later sat and discussed that if she has a problem she will cry whether or not she has been out or seen by anyone.

That day I decided that I will never do this ritual again for my daughter! I have heard phrases like “nazar lag gai” or “nazar utaro iski” n number of times from well-wishers, friends and even my mother but I have stood my ground. I have convinced some of my friends to let go of this practice while some of my friends think that this definitley help their children. I most certainly want them to discard it but I don’t judge them as there is nothing call “bad parenting”. All parents want the best for their children and they do certain things as they believe that is the best for their child.

Now I have utmost respect for our ancestors and genuinely believe that they were way more knowledgeable than we give them credit for. Take for example our age old home remedies, they are much better than any medicines and antibiotics. Whatever rules they had, made great sense at their time, like not cutting the nails in dark. At that time there was no electricity and it made sense to not cut the nails in dark lest they find their way in food, however it doesn’t hold water now when we can see clearly during the night time as well. Similarly, this confinement practice must have been made to ensure that the mother is well rested and gets enough bonding time with the baby.

However, our generation has to take some initiative to stop the age old rituals if it doesn’t agree with that little thing called “logic” and make sure that we don’t pass them on to our future generations and instead take care of their health and immunity, help them learn the life skills and make them independent and confident!