Parlour Woes

I HATE going to the parlours. No, I am not talking about the ice cream or the Internet parlours, I am talking about the beauty parlours. I think this is one of the things that makes me unfit for the typical gender stereotypes. I always procrastinate my parlour visits until I can procrastinate it no more.

When I was young, parlour visits meant only the haircuts.  Did I ever mention that I had blunt cut , i.e. very short hair until I was in 9^th standard. Ah, the good old days! Mom used to take me to the friendly-neighbourhood-parlour-didi.

After a few years, the number of visits increased and so did the questions accusations from the no-longer-friendly-parlour-didi. Sample this: Your hair is so unruly. Which shampoo do you apply? Why don’t you use the shampoo which I gave you? Look at your skin. Why don’t you use the products which I give you and the list goes on while I looked sheepishly as she was right. I never applied the shampoo/creams which she gave me.  

I went to a different city for my graduation, but still I continued going to her whenever I could, as a known devil is better than an unknown one. I again relocated to another city for work after my graduation which forced me to look beyond the neighbourhood-parlour-didi. After marriage I moved to Bangalore and in last 3 years, I have changed 3 houses and hence 3 areas, thus I am yet to find a consistent parlour to visit. So these parlours offer a number of different things. Top few being:

1.  Waxing: This is sheer torture. What else will you call the pouring to hot wax over your skin and hair is removed from the roots?

2. Getting your eyebrows shaped: I am yet to meet a girl who does not visit the parlour for this. They pluck your eyebrows using a thread (and hence the name threading) to shape the eyebrows. Although the after-effect is great and instant,  I wish there was a less painful option for this.

3. Facial/Clean up: There are a number of these available in the market like Shehnaz, Fruit, Gold, Bridal and the list goes on. The more exotic the name, the more money they charge. It includes a number of steps :

a.       They apply a number of sweet smelling lotions and massage your face as if kneading the dough. Sometimes it also includes a neck and back massages which is very relaxing though.

b.      Your face is subjected to hot steam for about a minute or two and which seems like ages

c.       A needle is plucked repeatedly on the pretext of removing black heads. I always tell them to skip this part. I love myself to the extent of not minding a few black heads. And I don’t even want to start on the sterilization of those needles

d.      A cooling pack is applied on your face and eyes are covered with wet cotton or cucumber slices and you lie down and ponder on the meaning of life or people like me think about their next blog post and no points for guessing where did the idea of this blog post came from.

e.      After this, the pack is removed, some more fragrant lotions are applied and you are released.

         

             4. Pedicure: I love it. This is my favourite. They massage and rub your feet and put your feet in warm water in the vibrator thingy which feels heavenly and you are treated like a princess.  You are then presented with a number of nail colours and they apply your chosen colour on your toe nails with utmost concentration

I have  also ventured into hair rebonding. Well it’s just a fancy name for permanent hair straightening.  Since the time I can remember, I always loved straight hair and hence the decision and I don’t regret it as it resulted into the kind of hair I always wanted – straight and silky which lasted for a full 1.5 years. Mine are unruly and rough.  Although the process is long and time consuming, I loved the outcome.

One of my friends says that, the parlour visits relax her. Well, to each her own. The idea of getting my eyebrows plucked or the application of burning wax over my tender skin does NOT relax me. Well, not unless I am going for a pedicure. The last time it happened was during my pregnancy. Haven’t got a chance after that. Sigh.

So I have accepted these visits as necessary evils. Although after going through this ordeal, when I go back home expecting some compliments, J* greets me saying “What happened? Was the parlour closed?” :/