Bud at 16 months

It’s marvellous that Bud( that’s what I have decided to call the little one here) can communicate everything with his limited vocabulary of 6 words. With gestures, sounds and actions he somehow manages to put his point across.

I used to think that if you talk to your kid a lot, they catch up and start talking. At least that’s what happened with Angel. She had a vocabulary of at least 50-70 words at this age. This kid proved me wrong. I am in India since last 4 months and he has access to words more than ever but he has not started speaking a new syllable in these 4 months. It’s still ta, da, wa and ba. 

He still has no teeth which stresses me out sometimes.

He doesn’t walk independently yet. MIL says it’s hereditary since J* and his siblings were all late walkers. Bud walks by holding one hand and steers us in a direction that’s desirable to him. And he walks and makes us walk the whole day. And I am not exaggerating!

He understands everything is what I feel and grasps new things real quick.

He knows 9-10 of his body parts.

He is a foodie and loves junk food 😥 and things like pav bhaji daal baati, idli as opposed to the regular daal chawal.

He loves water, not drinking but playing with it. His bath time is so much fun and I think it’s his favourite part of the day.

I mostly feed him his milk in the sink while he is playing with water.

Angel gave me perspective the other day, that previously you used to tell him to sit up, now that he is sitting up you are not happy about that and want him to move on to the next challenge of standing up. He is doing so many things.

I love my girl 😘😘

Bud loves books.

He can read two of his favourite books repeatedly for hours. He recognizes so many things from his books, and connects to the same things in real world, it’s fascinating!

He loves to ride his toy car which used to be Angel’s like a pro forwards and backwards. Thanks to grandparents for preserving her stuff so nicely that Bud is using them now.

Can khisko forward and backwards.

Loves walks in his tricycle with grandpa.

He loves adores mangoes.. that’s usually the last thing he eats for the day because if he says no for mangoes I know that he is full now.

He loves the song “lakdi ki kathi” and even hums along “lala” in almost exact tune.

We are enjoying him. We are a little carefree this time around also knowing that he is the only baby in our family for many years to come now until one of them have their own kids!

He must have forgotten his car seat and home and toys.. let’s see what challenges lay before us on our return!

Angel is 7!

“Mom, you never listen to me!”, Angel said in a huff the other day. Her features crumpled as she crossed her arms and frowned at me.

I tried to not laugh out loud as I pulled her close to me, remembering the times we spent together, alone—just her and me. The days I literally spent just holding her, the hours I spent reading to her, the naps we shared, the classes we took together, the way she was my entire world and how she changed my entire world.

You'll never know how my breath catches still when I catch a glimpse of you, how startling it is when you seem to grow up overnight, when you move with the grace of a big girl but sleep like the baby I once held.

You'll never know the way a heart can beat outside the body, steadfast and strong, maybe, until you’ll have children of your own.

You'll never know how unfit I feel for this job sometimes, how much I want to hide under my covers, how many times I offer up a silent "Are you sure you meant me for this gig?" to the universe.

You'll never know how I see myself in you, something that frightens me, but also it thrills me.

You'll never know how I love watching you grow up, how I see everything you do for your brother, how you bear the burden of being the oldest so very gracefully.

You'll never know that I still watch you when you sleep, that I will never stop brushing the stray hair our of your eyes so I can see your beautiful face.

You'll never know how my biggest fear in life is losing you, is of you slipping away from me, slowly as you grow and I feel so scared just by thinking about it.

You'll never know how every step, every breath, every story you tell, every movement you make, makes me marvel at the gift you are.

You'll never know, Angel, how you became my entire world, changed my entire world, and will always be my world.

But I am here. Even when you think I'm not. And that's a promise.

Happy 7th birthday!

Love,

Ma

A Month with TWO Kids!

Yes! Its been exactly a month since my son was born. A month since we welcomed him to this world and our family. A month since he completed the final piece of our little family. It also meant that me and J* are now responsible for two tiny humans. While its not always rainbows and unicorns here, but we are getting there. I will jot down some things that I have learnt in the past month.

1.      The Newborn thing gets easier the second time – Because you know the drill. Although its been more than 6 years since Angel was a new born and I had forgotten a lot of things, I was mentally prepared for what is about to come. I know not to freak out at every tiny noise that he makes. The first time around we just had the theoretical knowledge, this time along with that I also knew the practicalities of it. I remember I was so scared to carry Angel when she was a newborn, now I know that he wont break if I give him his tummy time and he is not as delicate as he looks. I am also thankful to a wonderful book called “The Happiest Baby on the Block”. Recommended for all parents of newborns.

2.      I am a pro at multi tasking – I can now feed the baby, help Angel with her homework, carry out a conversation with J* and keep an eye at the stove all at the same time. It is also apparent from the fact that I took almost 6 months after the birth of Angel to get back to this blog and now I back after a month.

3.       Child birth is hard – No matter what the type of birth is – normal or caesarean, no matter if it’s the first child or the nth, it is no mean feat. Especially the first few days. You are leaking from everywhere and the everything is painful. Post partum blues are real and your hormones are having a party at your expense. I realized that breastfeeding is so exhausting, especially during growth spurts and its okay to hug your partner and cry it out because there is light at the end of the tunnel, it gets better, eventually.

4.      My first born needs time to adjust to my second born – Although Angel is six and is very mature for her age and we prepared her during the pregnancy and she did not say it in words and would steal hugs from the little one from time to time, we could feel it. We empathized with her as well, you don’t realize the enormity of the situation until it hits you. Until now she was the center of our world and now another human is in picture who is taking a lot of my time which used to be hers. We involve her with everything related to the baby, from feeding to diaper changes and even doctor appointments. She loves to know what is going on with her baby brother. We also try to make it up to her by spending one on one time with her, especially J*. He takes her with him for mundane things like grocery shopping and they talk and she loves it. I have taken 2 trips with only her and the baby at home to a café and to a store to shop for a present for her friend’s birthday. We also did something for the month of February as it’s the month of love, we basically gave her 14 reasons why we love her, one for each day until Valentine’s Day and it went on the door of her room. She used to eagerly wait for her heart of the day and on weekends would remind me to put one for that day!

5.      It still takes a village to raise a child – You need help and don’t hesitate to ask for help. We have been lucky that my MIL is here to help us for the initial few months and it has been such a huge relief. It means that even though I am not there for Angel’s meal times sometimes, she is with someone who loves her. It also means that I don’t have to worry about laying the meals on the table and I can focus on the baby.

6.      My heart has grown – A cliché, I know. But I had serious thoughts on weather I would be able to love the little one as much as I love Angel, turns out all my worries have been futile as my heart has expanded to accommodate that much more love. Parents are wired that way!

Life with two kids is hard. It is also my new normal. I know its going to be challenging and not everyday is going to end with a smile. It also means that the Valentine Day outing is a late night trip to a café after the kids have gone to bed. However, its worth it!

PS – As you know by now that I call my daughter “Angel” on this blog, though its not her real name, I am still thinking what I should call the little one in this space. Suggestions welcome 😊